OPINION: Spooning With Gabrielle and Summer

Gabrielle Wieman and Summer Yates, guest commentary and design editor

Gabrielle Wieman and Summer Yates

Gabrielle:
May 20, 1977.
This is the day of the first kiss—Bobby Weiman stole a quick kiss from Lisa Stewart—then skipped off to typing class.
Lisa was an AG pastor’s daughter with five older brothers. Bobby was the son of a Filipina woman and a German ex-Marine, and seldom attendee of the Catholic Church. They embarked on a unique relationship, one that took Bobby into a Pentecostal church for the first time and face-to-face with amazing food. Just as Lisa opened up Bobby’s mind to God, she also opened his taste buds to food like chicken and dumplings with collard greens, Mexican enchiladas, and salad dressing that wasn’t a mix of ketchup and mayonnaise.
The high school sweethearts spent weekends taking small road trips to the beach for clam chowder, or heading to Pier 39 for a cheap hot dog. They married and 26 years later still love one another. They are now hosts to family dinners, holidays, and provide some of the best food around.

As the second daughter born as a result of this marriage, I’ve grabbed onto the idea that food is at the center of any love story—food, a great sense of understanding, and a support system that will catch you no matter what winds may shake through life. I am consistently watching my bank account dwindle, but my friendships grow stronger.
Summer:
My parents met on a radio show, KMPS Love Line, to be exact. Five hours later, my mom was in love; five months later, my dad proposed; seven proposals later, my mom said yes. They’ve agreed on nothing since.
Their marriage wasn’t a perfect one—he had heart problems and she had three boys from a previous marriage— but throughout their twenty years together, food became a buffer to their friction. My parents set aside their differences to play Cribbage over breakfast. Since the kids were asleep, it was their time to relax and talk in between shuffles.
Food became common ground in their communication and one thing they both loved. New Year’s Eve, Fourth of July, and Super Bowl Sundays were good times with good meals, and traditions became the foundation of our family.
My parents’ date nights were spontaneous, but consistent. They made sure to eat a couple meals a week outside the home, without the kids—it’s how they stayed plugged-in.
This was my first exposure to what love was, and it trickled its way down to my brothers and me. To this day, the best conversations I have with anyone is sitting across a table, knife and fork in hand. Because I see this pattern in my own life, I find it comical that one-on-ones are routinely done over just coffee, when a meal is waiting across the street. Why force small talk, when conversation flows over burgers and fries?

In our first article, our goal was to “expose the connections between relationships and restaurants.” Yet what unexpectedly emerged from this column was truth: great relationships are rooted in good conversation and good meals. Why did it work for our parents? Why did Jesus sit down to eat with people? Because as food nourishes our bodies, relationships nourish our souls—the two are made better when combined.
Whether it’s dating or room-mating, for a season or life-long commitments, appetizers or desserts, we wish you good luck with all your relationships.
Happy spooning.

Epilogue: Gabrielle and Summer are single and happy. Their mothers are less optimistic. Gabrielle’s mom suggested eHarmony.com.

Spooning with Gabrielle and Summer

Gabrielle Wieman and Summer Yates, guest columnist and design editor

Moist palms, cold sweats, the discreet pit-stain check…ah, first dates.
In this chapter of Spooning, we will examine the theory of the first date interview. Since the night is full of awkward moments, near-kiss misses, and leg spasms, one thing you should be able to control is the conversation.
In order to keep the natural cycle of “Ring by Spring” in motion, here are four blasé questions that tap into the psyche of a future mate. We here at Spooning want to help you know what to spoon for:
Career:
There is a room with a chair inside of it. What kind of chair is it?
It’s better to find out early if his career goal is to sit in his mother’s basement. Where will the mother of your children sit on the professional food chain?
Confident words such as sturdy, leather or wingback spell six-figures with a Jag in the garage, while rickety means they don’t have lofty career goals, and you’ll probably be supporting them more than the chair.
Key words to watch for are “comfortable”, “strong”, and “office.” Red flags are “rocking” and “folding chair:” can you say unstable?
Love:
What is your favorite chick flick/guy cry?
They make you laugh, make you cry, no matter what, you stick with them ‘til the end.
Movies.
A person’s favorite tear-jerker says a lot of their emotional health: practical, cynical, or idealistic (did you really think he would leave Cameron Diaz for Julia Roberts?)
A generic response like The Notebook tells you their view of romance is predictable, whereas Armageddon shows that sacrifice, fidelity and brotherhood are essential to saving relationships…and planet Earth.
Hyphenated genres (romantic-comedy, romantic-drama, movies-with-dogs, etc.) help determine one’s expectations for a mate. Look at it this way: the more intense the plot, the more intense your role, as future lover, will be. Romeo and Juliet? Better bring your A-game. Forgetting Sarah Marshall? Dracula musical!
You get your worries quelled, and they’re unaware that they’re being scoped for love, laughter, and happily ever after.Invite us to the wedding!
Life:
Which Britney phase do you relate to the best?
No one has gone through more ups and downs this decade than Spears…or her waistline. Your date should be well-aware of these stages and their portrayal of life.
The Tween years: ew.
The “Hit Me Baby” years: Wholesome and pure, it was an optimistic era. Sometimes they run, sometimes they hide, but in the end they’re faithful.
The Single, Sexy and Snake years: Life teeters at a delicate balance of open doors and open bars. Your date longs for better days when doubting your maturity was in. To them, life moves too fast for burdens like underwear.
The K-Fed/Shaved Head years:
Overwhelmed by expectations, each day seems to bring new more problems to cover up yesterday’s shoeless bathroom stops, 48-hour marriages or that extra 10-20 pounds.
Watch for key optimistic words like “comeback” and “moon dances.”
And of course, what would a first date be without a measurement of spirituality? A sure-fire way to know your buttercup is on board for the Lord:
So, how many World Vision children do you sponsor?

Gabrielle believes in the magic of the first date much as a shooting star: Though rare, when it happens, it’s truly spectacular.
Summer disagrees. The awkwardness of first dates must be a a result of original sin.